OZ Charter Circles
Training and Process
who is this for?
OZ Charter Circles, or Coin Circles for short, offer a practical framework for any community gathering. While our earliest adopters naturally include Men’s Sheds, service clubs, and existing men’s wellbeing groups, the Charter belongs to anyone.Mixed community groups, women’s groups, RSLs, sporting clubs, and schools are all welcome and encouraged to pick up the coin and run a circle.
Why this matters
We take these six virtues for granted. Most of us would say we already know what honesty, respect and kindness are. But taking them for granted means we never look at them closely, and we never draw on what they could do in our own lives and in our communities.Naming them, talking about them, and putting them into practice together builds our confidence to act more skilfully when the moment comes. A man who talks about what respect means to him, and how he might practise it better, is more likely to act on it than one who simply agrees it matters.At a time when trust is low and many feel unheard, respect, honesty and kindness rebuild the communities we depend on, one act at a time.
Running a circle: the 12 Agreements
Running a circle well takes skill. People need to feel safe to speak openly, listen properly, and share their own experience without being judged or given advice.The 12 Agreements below make that possible. Read and discuss them together before your circle begins. An experienced facilitator helps, and training is available.
How a Coin Circle runs
Leadership. Each circle needs a facilitator or leader who holds the agreements, keeps time and guides the process.Length. A circle needs at least one two-hour session. Most will benefit from two or three.Preparation. Before the first session, send participants the short description of each of the six virtues, noting that these are a starting point for discussion, along with a simple description of the process.
The process for each virtue
Respect · Integrity · Stand Together · Be Kind · Be Honest · Act
1. Read the description. The leader reads the virtue aloud.2. First round: experience. Each person speaks to his own understanding and experience of the virtue. Taking respect as an example: What does respect mean in my life? What does it feel like to receive it? When have I felt a lack of it? How do I give it?
Speak simply and plainly, and keep it short. Use a time limit for each speaker. Without one, the circle will run out of time before it reaches every virtue.3. Pause. Allow a short silence for people to take in what they have heard.4. Second round: intention. Each person names one action, intention or change in behaviour that would strengthen this virtue in his own life. Keep it small, specific and doable.5. Move on. Repeat the process for the next virtue.
Recognising the virtues in others
When all six virtues have been worked through, the leader asks each person:1. Do you know someone who lives one of these virtues in an exemplary way?
2. What have you seen them do?
3. Would you be prepared to give that person an OZ Charter coin to honour what they’ve done?This is where the circle turns outward. The coin carries what has been spoken in the room into the wider community, from one hand to the next.
The Six Virtues
Read aloud by the leader at the start of each virtue. These descriptions are a starting point, not a final definition.
RESPECT is fully recognising the dignity and independence of the other. It is treating the person in front of you as having an inner life as vivid and real as your own. Allowing that person to feel seen and heard. It’s taking the time and setting aside the judging mind to be simply present. It is hearing without having to agree.INTEGRITY is walking your talk. What you believe, what you say, and what you do all line up. You are one whole person, not two different ones, one inner and one outer. You feel solid—what you see is what you get, no forked tongue.STAND TOGETHER is choosing not to leave someone carrying the load alone. It means staying in the room when the pressure comes on, when mistakes are made, or when someone is struggling. It is easy when things are going well, but the real test is showing up when it costs you something. They don’t want to feel alone, and you know what that feels like.BE KIND begins with seeing. You notice that someone is struggling, carrying a burden, feeling left out, or having a hard day. Instead of looking away, you respond. Kindness turns concern into action—a welcoming word, a helping hand, a quiet act of support, or simply taking the time to listen. Most are small. Sometimes a small kindness is the thing that turns someone’s day, or their life, around.BE HONEST is saying what you genuinely think and feel, starting with yourself. It takes courage to speak plainly, to say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no, instead of just telling people what they want to hear. It doesn’t require you to be perfect or certain; it just means owning your mistakes and admitting when you are struggling. People trust you because they know exactly where they stand.ACT is standing up when called; it is virtue revealed through repeated action. Good intentions or words mean nothing without it. It means taking responsibility for what is right in front of you—doing what you can with what you have. There is always a reason to wait, but people notice the one who steps up, makes the call, and lends a hand.
The 12 Circle Agreements
1. Safe space. I help keep this circle a place where people can speak openly. Judging, blaming and shaming shut people down.2. Same person. I bring the same self here that I am out in the world. If I hold strong views, I'm willing to look at where they come from, not just defend them.3. Speak from my life. I share what's real for me, not just what looks good, and I encourage others to do the same.4. Say "I". I speak from my own experience, saying "I" rather than "you" or "people."5. Listen fully. I give the speaker my full attention, so I can honestly say, "I hear you."6. No judging. I listen without judging. What someone shares is their experience.7. No advice unless asked. I don't question or advise anyone without their permission. Sharing my own similar experience usually helps more than advice.8. No anger at others. I don't direct anger, abuse or threats at anyone here. I can talk about strong feelings and what sets them off.9. Confidentiality. Who was here and what was said stays here. If I'm unsure about something, I raise it with the circle.10. Fair share of time. Everyone gets a similar chance to speak. If someone needs more time, we agree on it together.11. Let feelings be. If someone is upset, I let them feel it rather than rushing to fix or comfort them. Sometimes my urge to rescue is about my own discomfort.12. Silence is fine. I let silence happen. It gives us time to think.